East, Reviews

Shoreditch Butchery

Ever had a good idea for a website but the name was taken by someone else who did something shit with it?Well that’s what has happened here.Shoreditch Butchery paints the picture of a stylishly low key bar with a unique meat focused menu. Somewhere you’ve heard that everyone goes to but you’ve never been because you’re not cool enough.


So with this in mind maybe our expectations were too high – way too high.

Shoreditch Butchery is basically a side room off of XOYO. It’s just a bar, albeit a nicely decorated dark bar, but nonetheless a bar with bar staff who didn’t have a bottle opener.


If you’re going to have Butchery in your name, give me some fucking meat. A meatball slider doesn’t quite cut it. Unless you call yourself Shoreditch Butchery for Ants – in which case the amount of meat on the plate is gargantuan. Oh and c’mon, where the fries at? A man can’t dine on sliders alone.


As for the cocktails; I started things off, and left them there, with the Badman Juice cocktail. Another title that writes a cheque it can’t cash. 5 rums and absinthe sounds like destruction in a glass huh – but no.

There may not have even been rum in my drink as they were poured from unlabelled bottles and the absinthe was a measly teaspoon’s worth. It did look slightly pretty I must admit, served in an angry tiki faced glass with fruit and a big leaf; but picture me as a 16 year old white girl, corn rows in her hair and a henna tattoo, on holiday in Kavos… this is the only scenario where I would have found this cocktail and its adornments to be impressive. It would probably go on to be remembered as the best cocktail in the world ‘like, ever!’.


If you’ve been to XOYO and are drunk and need something to throw up later (or to line the stomach pre clubbing) but can’t face the look of a kebab. Shoreditch Butchery is perfect. It’s a bar with bar food for those who have never been to a bar with a bar food menu.


On a positive note, Butchery Bingo was a hoot, well organised – in a raucous way and definitely a good way to spend a Monday night.



by @Jarvdesign + @Staceysssssss



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